Request the time you need to rest and recover without getting into details
A few weeks ago, I felt — off. Not sick, exactly, but not like myself. I was unfocused. I was tired. I’d worked a series of six-day weeks, was drowning in emails, and couldn’t seem to muster up the motivation to do anything.
So I took a mental health day. I rewatched ’90s sitcoms. I caught up on my paperwork. I did errands I’d been putting off, like grocery shopping. And the next day, for the first time in weeks, I didn’t wake up feeling like I wanted to toss my laptop into the East River.
Mental health days are an increasingly accepted fact of modern work life — and are even becoming permissible for students in some school systems. It’s simply a day off to recuperate and recharge. The reason could be a diagnosable mental health condition such as anxiety or depression, but it could also be something more nebulous, like feeling stressed, exhausted, or burned-out.
I had it fairly easy: I’m a freelance writer, so I’m my own boss — and Boss Me decided that it was in my own best interest to cut Employee Me a break.
But for most workers, taking a day off requires someone else’s approval, and many — 55% in a recent survey — worry they’ll be punished for requesting one. While stigmas around mental health are slowly changing, their existence can make it daunting to flag to your workplace that your mental health needs tending to.
Here’s how to request your day off in a way that feels comfortable, protects your privacy, and won’t make your boss question your commitment.
Consider your company culture
First, take stock of how open-minded your company is. “How you approach the situation depends on the culture of your organization,” says the career consultant Latesha Byrd.
For example, do you work at a place that values transparency? Are managers generally flexible about employees arriving late or leaving early as needed?
If you have a feeling that a “mental health day” request might not go over well, opt for the classic sick-day excuse. (Unless you have a generous time-off policy, you should expect this to count as a sick day, anyway.) Don’t feel guilty: Your mental health deserves just as much care as your physical health.
“Just say you’re under the weather and will be taking a sick day,” says Alison Green, work advice columnist and founder of Ask a Manager. “Your manager doesn’t need to know your exact symptoms.”
Out of consideration for your team, though, don’t wait until the morning of to call in sick. Ideally, you should let your manager know by the afternoon before.
If, on the other hand, your relationship with your manager and company culture allow for it, go ahead and just ask for a mental health day. Again, you shouldn’t feel pressured to go into specifics.
Point out the benefits
If it helps you feel more confident in your request, you can also point out why your taking a day off would benefit your team. Try something like, “I’ve been feeling too burned-out to really do my best work, and I think taking a day to get my energy back would help.”
Needless to say, this works better if you truly believe it, and sincerely plan to spend the day recuperating. “You have to go into this conversation not in fear, but fully knowing that this is going to help you be a better employee,” Byrd says. “If you’re able to take time off, the goal is to come back from that time off fully engaged and prepared to step up and do the work.”
Make a work plan
Just as you would with any paid time off, come prepared with an explanation of what will happen to your workload while you’re out. “You need to be able to explain how you plan to delegate your work, or how you’re able to get your work done before and after that mental health day so there’s no delay,” Byrd explains. “Make it hard for them to say no.”
This may mean that you should loop your co-workers in on your plans, too. If that’s the case, keep your explanation brief and limit it to colleagues who will be affected by your absence. “You can say, ‘I took time off for personal reasons,’” says Byrd, and leave it at that.
Prepare for any questions
While taking a mental health day is slowly becoming more accepted, the request may still be met with alarm, says Green. A manager who’s less educated about mental health may interpret the request as “I need a day off from work before I lose it,” she says. “And you generally don’t want to communicate that to your manager,” she says.
Remember that no one is entitled to nitty-gritty details if you don’t want to share them. But be aware that your manager may ask follow-up questions. “You should know how your supervisor thinks,” Byrd says. “You should be able to predict the questions they’re going to ask — and predict their responses as well.”
There’s no need to be dramatic about how dire the situation is to justify the day off. It’s a reasonable request, and with record numbers of young workers quitting jobs for mental health reasons, certainly better than letting the problem go unaddressed.
If you’re a boss, model self-care
Ryan Bonnici, a tech industry marketing executive, wrote recently about how transparency about his own mental health struggles helped his employees feel empowered to take care of themselves: “I include my therapy sessions on my calendar for everyone to see,” he wrote in Scientific American. “I tell people about this journey.”
When he told his team he was taking a mental health day himself, canceling his meetings for the day, everyone was supportive. And, he wrote, “That helped open the door. Increasingly, my employees and people from outside my department have come to speak with me about what they’re going through.”
Actually take your mental health day
What’s restorative for you may be anything from yoga classes to a lunch with an old friend to an afternoon binging Netflix. But one thing is clear: Your day off won’t do much for your mental health if you’re spending all day replying to Slack messages and checking your email.
So make the most of it by putting restrictions on yourself, suggests Byrd, like taking your email off your phone. After all, your co-workers wouldn’t call you with a minor problem if you were home with food poisoning. And being fully disconnected will benefit both you and your work in the long run.
Consider where your need is coming from
A mental health day may be fair game a few times a year, but it shouldn’t be a monthly necessity. If that’s how it feels, take a moment to think about why you’re at this point so often.
“What is the root cause of this — is it stress or anxiety? Is it the job? Is it something going on with your family? Is it a personal issue?” asks Byrd. “It’s important to understand why.” It could be that another mental health day won’t solve your problem, and a bigger change, or professional help, is necessary.
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